wearepaladin:

I’m no artist but this is a moodboard for my hypothetical future paladin.

Her name is Alicia Vermont, she’s a noble as well as an Aasimar and I go back and fourth on whether she’s Oath of the Crown or Oath of Vengeance so her backstory currently provides opportunity for both.

How do you deal with ableist people?? I had one conversation with an Autism Mom who refused to listen and was super gross and I feel so upset that I couldn’t change her mind, almost like I failed her kid. How do you keep doing this in a world that doesn’t listen?

neurowonderful:

Sometimes I don’t. There are some days when I don’t get out of bed, can’t open my inbox, can’t read one more news story, can’t take one more step.

On those days I let myself feel it. The agony of knowing. The anger, the fear, the sense of failure, the weight on my shoulders. I let myself cry over old heartbreak and new hurts. I let myself rage and gnash my teeth. I feel it all. And then I make sure to come back.

I make myself tea. I read a story in which things change for the better and so do people. I watch something with a hopeful ending. I pet my cat. I read messages of thanks and encouragement from people whose lives I’ve touched. I go find examples of people doing good, and I remind myself about what Gandalf told Frodo, that there are forces besides the will of evil at work in the world.

This is what works for me. Some people need to keep moving steadily forward or suffocate. Some people hibernate and come back rested. Some people find strength in community, give and receive energy. Some people do what I do and give themselves time to feel it. And then we get back to it.

When we encounter a person or situation, confront it, we leave it changed. I don’t think any effort is ever for nothing. Our words can be seeds or a pebble in a shoe. We can be a signpost pointing to a path that was previously unseen. Even if someone doesn’t turn down that path, they know it’s there. One day they may return to it. The most important thing to remember is that the stories we pop in and out of will go on and span out far beyond us and that what you started will likely be finished by someone else.

And some people are just awful. Ignorant, callous, cruel. Some stories are too big and too established for us alone to change. But there’s power and value in standing up to those ones, too, and a chance that, in time, many could succeed where one failed. That’s when it’s heartening to have fellow activists backing you up. To remember that your words are a small, incredibly valuable contribution to the collective effort that changes the world.

You are not alone. Reach out, if you can, and you’ll hear how very many people feel just the same way. I find that comforting, myself. We’re not alone in this. It’s not all on me. It’s not all on you.